This is the hardest thing in the world for me to do, but I can feel a cry in my heart that's telling me to get it out and leave it be, so here goes...
I'm sorry for not being the friend that you deserve
I'm sorry for not telling the truth when you asked for it
I'm sorry for holding grudges
I'm sorry for saying the things that I know will hurt you
I'm sorry for not saying the things that will help
I'm sorry for only having questions when you wanted answers
I'm sorry for not being someone you can look up to
I'm sorry for leading you on
I'm sorry for letting you go
I'm sorry for talking behind your back
I'm sorry for still being mad
I'm sorry for ignoring you
I'm sorry for not always being sorry
I'm sorry.
I wish I could say sorry to each individual person that I've wronged and even as I type one wrong has been made right and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off instantly.
I love you all.
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Those Daily Bites below are devotionals that I get sent to me everyday. Sometimes I read them, sometimes I don't. These two I read together after not reading them for a while. They really stuck out. God's faithfullness is something I'll never understand. It never ceases to amaze me that day after day, mistake after mistake, sin after sin, He still loves me and will carry me through hard times or when I fall.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Daily Bite
Here's your Daily Bite from http://eattheword.net.
This months theme is: Soul Songs - Worshipping when it's tough
Today's bible reading is from: Psalm 34:17
The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (NLT)
Recently I have come to know the truth in this verse and many other verses like it. The bible is full of truth about the faithfulness of God. In a world where there are so many challenges and when every thing around us seems to be against us, illness and poverty and money problems, there is a constant battle between our ideas about God and the truth of the Word of God.
Our response can often be to reshape our view of God by the things that happen to us, in a positive way or a negative way. But our experiences can often tell us that God maybe doesn't care for us as much as we think, or that God doesn't hear our prayers. The truth of the bible tells us otherwise. This passage from Psalms reconfirms that God is compassionate and he is close to those who need him, even though sometimes we don't see or feel that. We need to have faith in the truth of God regardless of what the world says: The truth of God will always win through.
Contributed by: Ant L
Here's your Daily Bite from http://eattheword.net.
This months theme is: Soul Songs - Worshipping when it's tough
Today's bible reading is from: Psalm 68:19
Praise the Lord; praise God our saviour! For each day he carries us in his arms. (NLT)
Our God is such an awesome God. You can't ever get your head around how amazing he is. He is just so loving and caring. This verse is such a comfort to us whether we are going through a difficult time, need some reassurance or just something to remember - that he carries us in his arms. He is closer to us than the air that we breathe and closer than the skin on our body.
When we are going through hard times we can sometimes be upset with God and wonder why he isn't answering our prayers or sorting our problems out. It's like the foot prints poem - we say to him 'where were you when we needed you most?' But then we see, and need to remember that during these times God carries us in his loving arms every single day. Remember what you have already been through in your life. You've been through circumstances you never thought you would get through. But God brought you through. Sometimes God answers prayer by taking things away, sometimes by adding things to us, but we should always remember that he knows best and he deserves all the praise. Praise him today for everything he's brought you through, caring for you as he carries you in his loving arms.
People often say they haven't got anything to be thankful for, but when we know Christ as our Lord and Saviour we have everything to be thankful for. He died for us that we might live and when we die we will live in heaven forever with our Lord. Thank and praise God our Saviour for this today.
Contributed by: Katie R
This months theme is: Soul Songs - Worshipping when it's tough
Today's bible reading is from: Psalm 34:17
The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (NLT)
Recently I have come to know the truth in this verse and many other verses like it. The bible is full of truth about the faithfulness of God. In a world where there are so many challenges and when every thing around us seems to be against us, illness and poverty and money problems, there is a constant battle between our ideas about God and the truth of the Word of God.
Our response can often be to reshape our view of God by the things that happen to us, in a positive way or a negative way. But our experiences can often tell us that God maybe doesn't care for us as much as we think, or that God doesn't hear our prayers. The truth of the bible tells us otherwise. This passage from Psalms reconfirms that God is compassionate and he is close to those who need him, even though sometimes we don't see or feel that. We need to have faith in the truth of God regardless of what the world says: The truth of God will always win through.
Contributed by: Ant L
Here's your Daily Bite from http://eattheword.net.
This months theme is: Soul Songs - Worshipping when it's tough
Today's bible reading is from: Psalm 68:19
Praise the Lord; praise God our saviour! For each day he carries us in his arms. (NLT)
Our God is such an awesome God. You can't ever get your head around how amazing he is. He is just so loving and caring. This verse is such a comfort to us whether we are going through a difficult time, need some reassurance or just something to remember - that he carries us in his arms. He is closer to us than the air that we breathe and closer than the skin on our body.
When we are going through hard times we can sometimes be upset with God and wonder why he isn't answering our prayers or sorting our problems out. It's like the foot prints poem - we say to him 'where were you when we needed you most?' But then we see, and need to remember that during these times God carries us in his loving arms every single day. Remember what you have already been through in your life. You've been through circumstances you never thought you would get through. But God brought you through. Sometimes God answers prayer by taking things away, sometimes by adding things to us, but we should always remember that he knows best and he deserves all the praise. Praise him today for everything he's brought you through, caring for you as he carries you in his loving arms.
People often say they haven't got anything to be thankful for, but when we know Christ as our Lord and Saviour we have everything to be thankful for. He died for us that we might live and when we die we will live in heaven forever with our Lord. Thank and praise God our Saviour for this today.
Contributed by: Katie R
Friday, December 21, 2007
Oh Boy...
So basically I'm speechless...
Like I actually don't know what to say.
Here is the object of my speechlessness...
Now you may be thinking that they're just flowers... I thought the same thing when I first saw them sitting on our kitchen table. However, you can imagine my surprise when I was cheekily informed that the flowers were for me. Obviously confused I looked to see who they were from... the box gave only a hint: they had been shipped from Edmonton and there was a "Personalized Note" inside. By now of course my family is going crazy... you guys know them... heckling and harassing. So I tear open the "Personalized Note", skip the note, and go straight to the sender. At first I didn't recognize the name and had to read it a few times... so I went back to the note. It reads:
Please accept this token of sincere friendship. I am forever grateful to have you as a friend. I'll never forget. Always smile, that is what got to me first.
As I finished reading it aloud my jaw dropped. All of a sudden I knew who it was. I just about died...like actually...as I mentioned earlier, I was speechless. When the initial shock wore off I started laughing and couldn't stop.
But now that I've told you story I should probably tell you who sent the flowers... not that you'll know him. But I'm sure some of you have at least heard of him from me telling you stories.
We met on Washington Island in August of this year. He was the only one my age that worked for Washington Island Ferry Line so we got introduced. We talked a few times at work... and then he began to ask me out... again, and again. Each time I refused with various excuses, and each time he optimistically said "maybe another time". All the other guys teased me about it consistently. It got ten times worse when on the one day I decided to wear make-up to work, he coincidentally had some kind of minor heart attack and had to go to the hospital. They said it was my fault cause he'd never seen me with make-up on before. Heh. Anyways, I left with him and I on awkward terms due to the fact that I had basically ignored him for the last 2 weeks of work so I wouldn't "encourage" anything. I thought I had left it all behind when I came home... apparently not.
Which is why I have decided to never talk to boys again, and never leave the house without a sumo suit on and a paper bag over my head.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thanks a lot Jill...
"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God for you." -Jim Elliot
Recently Jill wrote this quote on her blog after seeing it on someone else's, and after reading it myself I couldn't get it out of my mind. I've been so confused and "distressed" about what to do with my life, where to go, when to go, if I should go... I have so many questions running through my mind, so many thoughts, I don't know what to do with them all. But this quote, along with what Jill said, really got me thinking.
I've been focusing so much on the future, that I've completely lost sight of where I am right now. Sure I can be/should be looking into some options for my future, but I can't let it consume me. There is so much I can be doing RIGHT HERE, and RIGHT NOW for Christ while I wait for Him to lead me. Some verses that came to mind as I was thinking about this are:
Psalm 37:7 (Amplified Bible)
Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him.
John 10:10b (New International Version)
I[Christ] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Romans 12:11 (New Living Translation)
Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.
Just because I have no idea what my future is going to look like, doesn't mean that I can't be serving God enthusiastically while I patiently wait. I'm tired of wasting my life by doing nothing to grow and serve right where I am.
From now on my goal is to strive to be "all there", wherever I am. I want to live life with adandon*, trusting God to lead me on.
*Abandon (n)
1. the trait of lacking restraint or control; reckless freedom from inhibition or worry.
2. a feeling of extreme emotional intensity.
So really Jill, thanks for kicking me in the butt, and being an example of "living to the hilt every situation".
(though I don't think I'll follow your example as far as giving up so much electronic time :P )
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
'Tis the season to be Jolly...
.... Or not.
Don't get me wrong... I don't mind the whole Christmas season, even if it is over commercialized. (What holiday isn't??) I just hate the cold, dark weather. I don't even mind the snow... in fact, I have many good memories of GTing, hiking, and fighting in the snow. But when it gets so cold out that your breath freezes on your jacket, your lips turn blue, and your back aches from shivering, I want to just dig a hole and die. I hate it. It makes me depressed and lonely.
Also.
I'm staring at the calender, at the words "January 2008", and all I can think is "Holy Cow, I have no life..." I've been graduated for like 2 years and still have done nothing with my life. I mean I went to Aussie, and though it was an "experience", it had nothing to do with my future. I just feel so useless, so pathetic, so untrusting of God. I'm just so used to being in control of my future... I've always had a plan for what I wanted to do, dreams for my future, goals to accomplish... but now... God has stripped me of everything. I have no idea where to go, what to do. And I know... people tell me to "go until you see a red light", "as long as you're not going against God's Word, or directly against His will...". In no way am I saying that I've been getting bad advice... it's just that..... it's not that easy for me. When you have more then 1 good choice...which do you choose? I feel like I should just wait for God to specifically lead me, but it's been implied that that is lazy.
I know what I like doing, what I have passions for... but I have no idea how they could tie together to become a career. I don't even know what kind of school I should be taking, cause my 2 mains interests are hardly related... well they kinda are related, but not as far as schooling goes.
But anyways... I'm tired of talking about this already so I'm gonna go...
I guess I should also say that I'm not actually as depressed as this makes me sound... I'm just confused and over thinking everything.
So yeah.
By the way... I love you all and REALLY appreciate and am blessed with your friendships! You guys are all the BEST!!!
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Praise You in this Storm
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again,
I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Casting Crowns - "Praise You in this Storm"
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again,
I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Casting Crowns - "Praise You in this Storm"
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