Hey guys...
Would you all pray for me the next couple of days?
I know alot of you already pray for me, and for that I am SO thankful...
But I need an extra dose of prayer these days.
There is a load on my mind and a weight on my shoulders.
God is really teaching me alot about selflessness and about how selfish and immature I am.
It's a long and painful lesson.
I tend to base my emotions on how people treat me, what they say to me (or what they don't say), or on how full my "love cup" is.
(I think I kind of talked about this a bit before...)
The other thing I need prayer for, and maybe this is what is spurring on all the other things, is my relationship with God. I feel like I've come to a wall... not necessarily a brick wall, but a paper wall... one that is letting just a little bit of Light through, maybe a little bit of Sound.... but a wall none the less. It's preventing me from getting anything out of my devotions. Anytime I sit down to pray or read my Bible, the wall comes up.
Would you guys join with me in prayer that my walls would be broken and that my weights of selfishness would be lifted?
We serve a Great and Powerful God and He has promised that He will always be listening and answering prayers.
That being said, would you guys email me and tell me some things I can be praying for for you? I may be struggling a bit, but that doesn't mean I can't be praying on others behalf.
Grace and Peace to you all.
Liz
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A Speedy Lesson
Over the six months that I've been here at Frontier God has really taught me a lot of lessons.
Some I learn right away.
Some I have to surrender every day.
Some hurt.
Some are really beautiful.
Some take a few nudges to get my attention.
This one took a really long drive to learn.
Some of you may know this, some of you maybe not... but...
I like to drive fast.
Like I really, really like it.
It gives me a sense of freedom, power, and control...
And plus it's just stinkin' fun.
I know that speeding is wrong.
God has really been convicting me of this.
I obey the other rules the government has put in place...
Like, I don't steal,
I don't graffiti things,
I don't assault people,
I don't drive on the wrong side of the road.
I believe those are wrong.
So what gives me the right to think that speeding is ok?
I was really struggling with this whole issue.
But once you get into a habit of sin,
It becomes a habit hard to break.
So anyways.
I'm driving back to Frontier on Tuesday...
I'm doing really well,
You know,
Watching my speed and all...
Well, slowing I start to creep faster and faster.
I know inside that this is wrong,
But it feels so freeing.
Next thing I know:
I'm getting my very first speeding ticket.
Actually, it was my first time even being pulled over.
I always thought that the first time I got pulled over I would be really upset...
Well...
I started laughing.
God has such powerful ways of getting our attention.
I know I deserved the ticket.
I had been stupid.
The police officer was really nice.
Because I was so pleasant to him and recognized what I had done wrong,
He bumped it down to the lowest possible ticket he could.
While I was sitting there,
God brought some verses to mind.
It was a set of verses that I had been reading repeatedly for the past few days.
The verses are from Romans 6 (The Message) and are as follows:
When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That's what Jesus did.
That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don't give it the time of day. Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you've been raised from the dead!—into God's way of doing things. Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God.
What Is True Freedom?
So, since we're out from under the old tyranny, does that mean we can live any old way we want? Since we're free in the freedom of God, can we do anything that comes to mind? Hardly. You know well enough from your own experience that there are some acts of so-called freedom that destroy freedom. Offer yourselves to sin, for instance, and it's your last free act. But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you've let sin tell you what to do. But thank God you've started listening to a new master, one whose commands set you free to live openly in his freedom!
I'm using this freedom language because it's easy to picture. You can readily recall, can't you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing—not caring about others, not caring about God—the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God's freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness?
As long as you did what you felt like doing, ignoring God, you didn't have to bother with right thinking or right living, or right anything for that matter. But do you call that a free life? What did you get out of it? Nothing you're proud of now. Where did it get you? A dead end.
But now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.
I was giving in to sin,
Thinking that it was giving me freedom...
When really,
All along, God was waiting with His Life giving Freedom.
The rest of the ride back to camp was pretty sweet.
I definitely drove the speed limit,
And God really blessed that.
The sunset was spectacular,
The moon was huge and full,
I had an awesome time of worship,
And when I got back I had awesome friends waiting impatiently for me.
Sometimes learning lessons costs more then we want,
But in the end,
The new Freedom and Life we get is FAR better, and worth so much more then money...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are the flowers I had waiting in my room from my amazing man.
Some I learn right away.
Some I have to surrender every day.
Some hurt.
Some are really beautiful.
Some take a few nudges to get my attention.
This one took a really long drive to learn.
Some of you may know this, some of you maybe not... but...
I like to drive fast.
Like I really, really like it.
It gives me a sense of freedom, power, and control...
And plus it's just stinkin' fun.
I know that speeding is wrong.
God has really been convicting me of this.
I obey the other rules the government has put in place...
Like, I don't steal,
I don't graffiti things,
I don't assault people,
I don't drive on the wrong side of the road.
I believe those are wrong.
So what gives me the right to think that speeding is ok?
I was really struggling with this whole issue.
But once you get into a habit of sin,
It becomes a habit hard to break.
So anyways.
I'm driving back to Frontier on Tuesday...
I'm doing really well,
You know,
Watching my speed and all...
Well, slowing I start to creep faster and faster.
I know inside that this is wrong,
But it feels so freeing.
Next thing I know:
I'm getting my very first speeding ticket.
Actually, it was my first time even being pulled over.
I always thought that the first time I got pulled over I would be really upset...
Well...
I started laughing.
God has such powerful ways of getting our attention.
I know I deserved the ticket.
I had been stupid.
The police officer was really nice.
Because I was so pleasant to him and recognized what I had done wrong,
He bumped it down to the lowest possible ticket he could.
While I was sitting there,
God brought some verses to mind.
It was a set of verses that I had been reading repeatedly for the past few days.
The verses are from Romans 6 (The Message) and are as follows:
When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That's what Jesus did.
That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don't give it the time of day. Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you've been raised from the dead!—into God's way of doing things. Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God.
What Is True Freedom?
So, since we're out from under the old tyranny, does that mean we can live any old way we want? Since we're free in the freedom of God, can we do anything that comes to mind? Hardly. You know well enough from your own experience that there are some acts of so-called freedom that destroy freedom. Offer yourselves to sin, for instance, and it's your last free act. But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you've let sin tell you what to do. But thank God you've started listening to a new master, one whose commands set you free to live openly in his freedom!
I'm using this freedom language because it's easy to picture. You can readily recall, can't you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing—not caring about others, not caring about God—the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God's freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness?
As long as you did what you felt like doing, ignoring God, you didn't have to bother with right thinking or right living, or right anything for that matter. But do you call that a free life? What did you get out of it? Nothing you're proud of now. Where did it get you? A dead end.
But now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.
I was giving in to sin,
Thinking that it was giving me freedom...
When really,
All along, God was waiting with His Life giving Freedom.
The rest of the ride back to camp was pretty sweet.
I definitely drove the speed limit,
And God really blessed that.
The sunset was spectacular,
The moon was huge and full,
I had an awesome time of worship,
And when I got back I had awesome friends waiting impatiently for me.
Sometimes learning lessons costs more then we want,
But in the end,
The new Freedom and Life we get is FAR better, and worth so much more then money...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are the flowers I had waiting in my room from my amazing man.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
There is no Try
This week Nicole and I were scheduled to go scouting for an over night hike. It's good 3-4 day hike, that we were going to attempt to do in 2 days. We were a little wary of pushing for 2 days as the guide book says that "if you are very strong and very fast you can make this a 2 day hike, otherwise plan on at least 3 days". Well we left with skeptical minds and backpacks packed for up to three days. We got to the trailhead and it welcomed us with a light snow falling.
....... I just totally lost my train of thought.. So I'll just tell you the story with no frills.
We did the 3-4 day, 27 km hike in..... one freaking day!!!! Nicole and I hiked for 11 hours straight. We did that yesterday... today I hurt.
Nicole and I are machines, what can I say.
....... I just totally lost my train of thought.. So I'll just tell you the story with no frills.
We did the 3-4 day, 27 km hike in..... one freaking day!!!! Nicole and I hiked for 11 hours straight. We did that yesterday... today I hurt.
Nicole and I are machines, what can I say.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
I may be Alive and Kicking,
But the Deer sure isn't.
I have a long list of things to say and I'm gonna try and power through them so I don't get distracted. Here goes.
Hunger Pains
The last time I wrote I had just got back from hearing the discouraging news of all the things I couldn't/shouldn't eat right now...I figure I should let you know that I haven't died of starvation yet. According to the scale here, I have lost over 5 pounds, but I'm doing alright. God is really teaching me a lot through this. So since I've been back from the Chiropractor I've had a lot of salads and stir-frys. It's been pretty hard at times... not being able to eat what everyone else is eating. It takes a lot of time and energy (and money) to cook my own meals; none of which I have a lot of. I spend a lot of time being hungry, which is fine, it doesn't hurt to be hungry as lots of people are more hungry than I am for longer than I am. It's just been really draining for me. All I wanted was someone to take the time to care for me. You know how when you're sick, all you want is to be at home with mum and some chicken noodle soup? Yeah. I just wanted someone to baby me a bit. Of course no one here has the time to do that, and they've got their own hard times. I got pretty low. My energy level when way down. It just drained everything I had. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually I was shot. I ended up withdrawing a lot. Then one morning, after a particularly hard night, I was just starting my morning devotion with some prayer and BAM! God met me where I was. He reminded me through His Word, and through a book I've been trying to read, that I've been missing the whole point of everything. I was so wrapped up in my own "problems" that I pushed everyone away and put myself before them. My self-centeredness was what was draining me so bad. Bill Hybels writes a book about living beyond ourselves. In it he talks about how the way to peace, joy, and fulfillment is through following Jesus' example of servanthood. I had been so busy throwing myself a pity party that I was missing out on life. I had been putting my want of attention before the people that I really care about.
As soon as I understood what God was trying to say to me, it just clicked. Something in me changed... it's not going to be smooth sailing all the time though. This is something I'm going to have to surrender to God everyday...
Having a serving attitude is hard for me... but the Bible clearing states that to be a leader you have to be a servant. It's something God's been trying to teach me for a long time. It kinda stinks that I wouldn't listen until He took all my food away...
Ok, so I already got distracted... I keep thinking of things that need to be done.
Ag.
Taking a Fall
We're in full swing of the Fall season here at Frontier Lodge - our groups are becoming a little more spaced out, I had the privilege of programming for our last canoe trip of the year, and the sun is calling it quits by 19:30. (Sorry, I've taken a fancy to military time.) We've had some really nice days this week. It was like 25 out for a few of them. As much as I love the summer weather, every nice day we have reminds me how much closer we are to Winter. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to winter and to all the new sports I'll be able to learn... it's just that I'll always be a summer girl.
Since the end of the summer season we've had 5 or 6 groups in. They've all been a bit older (like grade 12 classes), and have come as pretty tight groups. This makes it hard to be able to hang out with them, or connect with them, unless you really put in a lot of effort. This is something that I'm working on. God has been revealing to me that I don't really have a heart for people anymore... it got lost somewhere along the way of Frontier becoming a "job", not a "ministry". (If you could be praying for me in this regard, that would be awesome!) God is good though. There was one day, while I was hosting a group, that I was just not feeling the love. All the students were really annoying, and the teachers were even worse... I started praying about it, and BAM! God filled me with His Love. For the rest of the day I was able to really love them and care for them. It was a huge lesson for me.
Of course, now that the groups are a little more sparse, we have time for the "fun stuff"... like camp work, scouting, preparing for next summer, cleaning... All stuff that has to be done, some stuff more fun then others. We've been working on redoing the Office for quite a while, and it's almost done. There's a Work Bee this weekend (starting today) and hopefully the Office, along with a list of other things , will get finished up.
Because I'm not the most skilled construction worker out there ( :P ), I'm not always on camp work. This week I got to go scouting with Darcy on some old quad trails. We were on bikes making sure the trails were still ridable, as they haven't been used for bikes in a few years. It was pretty darn amazing. It was a downhill ride that Darcy said was actually harder then our normal "hard" downhill trail. There was a few times where you're scared for your life... where the hill is so steep that you're leaning back so far that you're basically sitting on the rear tire, where you have to duck so low to miss a tree your teeth hit the handlebars, where the drop in front of you is so big you can't decide if you should bail before it or just try and survive it, where your adrenaline rush is so intense you shake for like 20 minutes after the ride is done. The whole ride wasn't like that though... there was two rather large hills we had to climb, and we had to climb them both twice. Ridiculous. They were hills I wouldn't want to hike up, let alone hike a downhill bike up. Every muscle in my body was raging... is still raging. I took one really nice fall when a tree totally took me out. It was across the trail, but looked small enough that it would just bend when I rode through it. It was a lot stronger then I anticipated. The result was a bruised funny bone (with numb fingers), a sore rear cheek, some blood on the arm, a goose egg of many colors on the knee, and a hurt pride.
You're such a deer... er... dear
I went hunting with Tim last night. It was the first time I've gone sitting. (As apposed to walking around the forest shooting squirr-er-targets...) We sat for about an hour and a half and saw only the rear ends of two White Tails. Just as the weather started getting a bit sketchy I saw something off in the distance. Tim couldn't see it, even through the scope, so he crept up to the top of the hill to look down. Where I was, I could only see him, not down the hill... which was fine. ( :P I wish I could have taken a picture... he was the epitome of all that is man. ) He stood there for a minute or two, just looking through the scope... then there was a shot... then silence... then four White Tails scattered. Tim called me over. He had dropped a good sized doe. His goal had been for at least a 4x4 buck, but the doe just kept coming closer and closer. When he shot it, it was only like 60 meters away.
So now there's this dead deer... The next step is pretty obvious. It has to be cleaned... and I don't mean it needs a bath.
I'll spare you the gory details, but I must say how proud I am of me. I didn't get squeamish at all. I even helped hold it while Tim pulled the guts out. It was actually really interesting to see all all the insides... cause you see lots of pictures for biology and stuff, but seeing it live is a different story.
Chuck had been hunting too, so by this time he had walked over to us. He and Tim tied it to a big stick and they carried it down to the road, while I was in charge of the backpacks and guns. We took it back to camp, hung it up in the quad shed, and they started skinning it. It's a long, but interesting process. The only time I got a bit grossed out was when they started sawing through the ribs with a hack saw. It sounds pretty nasty. After the skin, along with the head, was off, the boys started cutting the meat off and Jojo and I had a bit of fun with the head. The tongue was sticking out, so we pierced it was a nail... and then we were investigating it's mouth and eyes... both of which are really weird.
Haha, you should have seen us though... we looked about as redneck as you can get. Tim, Chuck, and I were sitting in the back of the truck, all geared up in camo, with guns between our legs, and the prize behind us...
This is the End
Well, this is officially the longest blog I've ever written... You're probably all asleep.
I have to run though... I'm picking up Laura from Red Deer today.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
Praying for you guys.
Grace and Peace,
Liz
I have a long list of things to say and I'm gonna try and power through them so I don't get distracted. Here goes.
Hunger Pains
The last time I wrote I had just got back from hearing the discouraging news of all the things I couldn't/shouldn't eat right now...I figure I should let you know that I haven't died of starvation yet. According to the scale here, I have lost over 5 pounds, but I'm doing alright. God is really teaching me a lot through this. So since I've been back from the Chiropractor I've had a lot of salads and stir-frys. It's been pretty hard at times... not being able to eat what everyone else is eating. It takes a lot of time and energy (and money) to cook my own meals; none of which I have a lot of. I spend a lot of time being hungry, which is fine, it doesn't hurt to be hungry as lots of people are more hungry than I am for longer than I am. It's just been really draining for me. All I wanted was someone to take the time to care for me. You know how when you're sick, all you want is to be at home with mum and some chicken noodle soup? Yeah. I just wanted someone to baby me a bit. Of course no one here has the time to do that, and they've got their own hard times. I got pretty low. My energy level when way down. It just drained everything I had. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually I was shot. I ended up withdrawing a lot. Then one morning, after a particularly hard night, I was just starting my morning devotion with some prayer and BAM! God met me where I was. He reminded me through His Word, and through a book I've been trying to read, that I've been missing the whole point of everything. I was so wrapped up in my own "problems" that I pushed everyone away and put myself before them. My self-centeredness was what was draining me so bad. Bill Hybels writes a book about living beyond ourselves. In it he talks about how the way to peace, joy, and fulfillment is through following Jesus' example of servanthood. I had been so busy throwing myself a pity party that I was missing out on life. I had been putting my want of attention before the people that I really care about.
As soon as I understood what God was trying to say to me, it just clicked. Something in me changed... it's not going to be smooth sailing all the time though. This is something I'm going to have to surrender to God everyday...
Having a serving attitude is hard for me... but the Bible clearing states that to be a leader you have to be a servant. It's something God's been trying to teach me for a long time. It kinda stinks that I wouldn't listen until He took all my food away...
Ok, so I already got distracted... I keep thinking of things that need to be done.
Ag.
Taking a Fall
We're in full swing of the Fall season here at Frontier Lodge - our groups are becoming a little more spaced out, I had the privilege of programming for our last canoe trip of the year, and the sun is calling it quits by 19:30. (Sorry, I've taken a fancy to military time.) We've had some really nice days this week. It was like 25 out for a few of them. As much as I love the summer weather, every nice day we have reminds me how much closer we are to Winter. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to winter and to all the new sports I'll be able to learn... it's just that I'll always be a summer girl.
Since the end of the summer season we've had 5 or 6 groups in. They've all been a bit older (like grade 12 classes), and have come as pretty tight groups. This makes it hard to be able to hang out with them, or connect with them, unless you really put in a lot of effort. This is something that I'm working on. God has been revealing to me that I don't really have a heart for people anymore... it got lost somewhere along the way of Frontier becoming a "job", not a "ministry". (If you could be praying for me in this regard, that would be awesome!) God is good though. There was one day, while I was hosting a group, that I was just not feeling the love. All the students were really annoying, and the teachers were even worse... I started praying about it, and BAM! God filled me with His Love. For the rest of the day I was able to really love them and care for them. It was a huge lesson for me.
Of course, now that the groups are a little more sparse, we have time for the "fun stuff"... like camp work, scouting, preparing for next summer, cleaning... All stuff that has to be done, some stuff more fun then others. We've been working on redoing the Office for quite a while, and it's almost done. There's a Work Bee this weekend (starting today) and hopefully the Office, along with a list of other things , will get finished up.
Because I'm not the most skilled construction worker out there ( :P ), I'm not always on camp work. This week I got to go scouting with Darcy on some old quad trails. We were on bikes making sure the trails were still ridable, as they haven't been used for bikes in a few years. It was pretty darn amazing. It was a downhill ride that Darcy said was actually harder then our normal "hard" downhill trail. There was a few times where you're scared for your life... where the hill is so steep that you're leaning back so far that you're basically sitting on the rear tire, where you have to duck so low to miss a tree your teeth hit the handlebars, where the drop in front of you is so big you can't decide if you should bail before it or just try and survive it, where your adrenaline rush is so intense you shake for like 20 minutes after the ride is done. The whole ride wasn't like that though... there was two rather large hills we had to climb, and we had to climb them both twice. Ridiculous. They were hills I wouldn't want to hike up, let alone hike a downhill bike up. Every muscle in my body was raging... is still raging. I took one really nice fall when a tree totally took me out. It was across the trail, but looked small enough that it would just bend when I rode through it. It was a lot stronger then I anticipated. The result was a bruised funny bone (with numb fingers), a sore rear cheek, some blood on the arm, a goose egg of many colors on the knee, and a hurt pride.
You're such a deer... er... dear
I went hunting with Tim last night. It was the first time I've gone sitting. (As apposed to walking around the forest shooting squirr-er-targets...) We sat for about an hour and a half and saw only the rear ends of two White Tails. Just as the weather started getting a bit sketchy I saw something off in the distance. Tim couldn't see it, even through the scope, so he crept up to the top of the hill to look down. Where I was, I could only see him, not down the hill... which was fine. ( :P I wish I could have taken a picture... he was the epitome of all that is man. ) He stood there for a minute or two, just looking through the scope... then there was a shot... then silence... then four White Tails scattered. Tim called me over. He had dropped a good sized doe. His goal had been for at least a 4x4 buck, but the doe just kept coming closer and closer. When he shot it, it was only like 60 meters away.
So now there's this dead deer... The next step is pretty obvious. It has to be cleaned... and I don't mean it needs a bath.
I'll spare you the gory details, but I must say how proud I am of me. I didn't get squeamish at all. I even helped hold it while Tim pulled the guts out. It was actually really interesting to see all all the insides... cause you see lots of pictures for biology and stuff, but seeing it live is a different story.
Chuck had been hunting too, so by this time he had walked over to us. He and Tim tied it to a big stick and they carried it down to the road, while I was in charge of the backpacks and guns. We took it back to camp, hung it up in the quad shed, and they started skinning it. It's a long, but interesting process. The only time I got a bit grossed out was when they started sawing through the ribs with a hack saw. It sounds pretty nasty. After the skin, along with the head, was off, the boys started cutting the meat off and Jojo and I had a bit of fun with the head. The tongue was sticking out, so we pierced it was a nail... and then we were investigating it's mouth and eyes... both of which are really weird.
Haha, you should have seen us though... we looked about as redneck as you can get. Tim, Chuck, and I were sitting in the back of the truck, all geared up in camo, with guns between our legs, and the prize behind us...
This is the End
Well, this is officially the longest blog I've ever written... You're probably all asleep.
I have to run though... I'm picking up Laura from Red Deer today.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
Praying for you guys.
Grace and Peace,
Liz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)