.... Or not.
Don't get me wrong... I don't mind the whole Christmas season, even if it is over commercialized. (What holiday isn't??) I just hate the cold, dark weather. I don't even mind the snow... in fact, I have many good memories of GTing, hiking, and fighting in the snow. But when it gets so cold out that your breath freezes on your jacket, your lips turn blue, and your back aches from shivering, I want to just dig a hole and die. I hate it. It makes me depressed and lonely.
Also.
I'm staring at the calender, at the words "January 2008", and all I can think is "Holy Cow, I have no life..." I've been graduated for like 2 years and still have done nothing with my life. I mean I went to Aussie, and though it was an "experience", it had nothing to do with my future. I just feel so useless, so pathetic, so untrusting of God. I'm just so used to being in control of my future... I've always had a plan for what I wanted to do, dreams for my future, goals to accomplish... but now... God has stripped me of everything. I have no idea where to go, what to do. And I know... people tell me to "go until you see a red light", "as long as you're not going against God's Word, or directly against His will...". In no way am I saying that I've been getting bad advice... it's just that..... it's not that easy for me. When you have more then 1 good choice...which do you choose? I feel like I should just wait for God to specifically lead me, but it's been implied that that is lazy.
I know what I like doing, what I have passions for... but I have no idea how they could tie together to become a career. I don't even know what kind of school I should be taking, cause my 2 mains interests are hardly related... well they kinda are related, but not as far as schooling goes.
But anyways... I'm tired of talking about this already so I'm gonna go...
I guess I should also say that I'm not actually as depressed as this makes me sound... I'm just confused and over thinking everything.
So yeah.
By the way... I love you all and REALLY appreciate and am blessed with your friendships! You guys are all the BEST!!!
2 comments:
Aw Liz........haha i love the picture by the way.
It was nice having coffee, or tea//or what ever you want to call it =P........i dont think we are done talking though =)
anyhoo.........i'll catch you around!
-ace-
I know what you mean about having more than one "good choice". That's what my dilemma was this past summer, and one of the girls at camp just told me, "Well maybe God isn't leading you to a specific one, because they are all good choices! Maybe He just wants you to choose which one you would like to do."
Don't know if that applies to you, but its something to think about!
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